I love breakfast! I pretty much love everything about it - coffee, eggs, bacon - definitely bacon and the carbs - muffins, scones, bagels, English muffins, pancakes, waffles - did I mention bacon? I could eat it for three meals a day (and I have before). In fact I love breakfast so much that for our wedding, we decided to serve breakfast foods. It was fabulous! I make a point to never skip it, and while I love eating it, I also equally love making it. In fact I am an avid brunch connoisseur. Give me a city and I will hunt down the best place to eat breakfast or for those later days brunch. My mom was and still is a phenomenal baker, so homemade bread, muffins, biscuits, cinnamon rolls were a regular part of my childhood. I still have an incredible love for baked goods - give me a muffin or scone any day over a cookie or cake. I’ve come to realize that one of the reasons I love breakfast/brunch so much is because my parents made it special for us growing up.

I find myself operating out a sense of routines and rhythms. It’s how the seasons and time flow, so it seems logical that I would be living out of those same patterns. We’re in the Lenten season, which is a time that is filled with meaning and significance to me not only because we celebrate the resurrection, but because it was my father’s favorite season. With his passing over a decade ago, I found myself more drawn to this time and the sense of death, rebirth, and new life. I always want this time of year to be more intentionally focused and have the same sense of celebration as I do in Advent. As a result, I’ve tried to find devotionals and practices that lead me to be more contemplative and have a similar build up to Easter as we do to Christmas. Now that I have a little girl, I find myself thinking about ways to make this time meaningful for her as well.

As the dust settles after a loss, you try to pick up the pieces. Normal life seems to have momentarily paused, and as you reenter you try to pick up the familiar rhythms - like cooking, working out, paying bills etc. What got dropped in the midst of the loss, and what needs to get picked back up? You feel as if you should get some more space and time to process it all and reconcile how life will look now that your loved one is gone. As I shared in my last blog, we lost my father-in-law, Papa Payne, last month, and after being in Pennsylvania for 21 of the 29 days in February, we’re finally back home in Indiana. I find myself more relaxed as a result, more exhausted-it’s quieter and there’s less commotion-but also freer to reflect on all that has happened. I also have a sense of gratitude for walking through an experience where I saw my father-in-law pass with dignity and witnessed him prepare for dying well.

It’s a rare day in February-the 29th. The sun is filtering through the window as I write. When I left the house this morning birds were happily chirping, and I saw some green popping up through the garden bed. Both animals and plants alike were singing and rising up despite the chill in the air and the cold that would keep them quiet and hidden away. It brought to mind the verses in 1 Corinthians 15: 55-56,“ ‘Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” No winter is forever, and the whisperings of spring remind me of the power of the resurrection. These are the same verses that I read this past weekend at my father-in-law's funeral, so they are both on my mind and heart. Hearing stories about his life and seeing the outpouring of people who came to celebrate him was both beautiful and impactful.

I see it everywhere-the store, the car, shopping, the gas station, family gatherings, coffee dates-the constant fixation on the phone or now watch (thank you Apple). My personal pet peeve is when a family is out to dinner or even worse a couple is out on what appears to be a date and both of them are on their phones. What an incredible waste of time and a missed opportunity for connection. My most recent encounter with this growing social epidemic was at a Christmas concert. We were in a beautiful local theater surrounded by hundreds of people. We were watching an acapella group, who have amazing vocal talent, humor, and put on an incredible show all involving media and choreography. You would think it would keep people’s attention. However the girl sitting in front of me could not pay attention AT ALL.

Recently my colleague and I were having a coaching session with a client who shared that she and her team were all feeling that they wanted to do all of the things in ministry because they love them. Our client was sharing about how much she enjoys doing social media, but how much she truly loves discipling young women and having them in her home. However in addition to this work, she was also singlehandedly running her ministry’s social media, and managing a coffee shop. It was obvious this pace of life and work wasn’t sustainable, but she was still holding on to the possibility of doing all three jobs. In turn my colleague responded that if you DON’T want to grow and DO want to burn out then keep doing that.

I am terrible at relaxing. It’s true. Just ask my husband. When it’s evening and we’re winding down for the day I have at least 5-10 items I’m trying to complete before I actually settle down on the couch to watch an episode of anything with him. It takes me a good 30-40 minutes to get ready for bed and then another 30 minutes to fall asleep. He actually just told me yesterday that he’s seen me take 10 minutes worth of bedtime prep and stretch it across an hour.

I remember a season in my life when I had to do a significant amount of fundraising in order to go overseas and accomplish the work I felt passionately called to. I had just graduated college and was incredibly inspired to get out into the world and go be a missionary. At the time I thought I would be living and doing ministry overseas for the rest of my life. I was preparing myself for a lifetime of raising funds, asking for donations, and financially depending on other people.

Years ago when I was in college, I had my first real and vivid encounters with the Bible and ultimately with Jesus. I remember being taught and learning strategies for engaging in God’s word-one of which was to imagine the scenes we were reading about. I can recall that the Bible felt alive and active as I read the words off the page, but my imagination seemed to fail me on some level when it came to putting myself into the scene or visualizing what was going on.

When I think of hurrying, the picture of the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland comes to mind. He’s scurrying around, looking at this watch and almost in a panic. He barely pays attention to the other people around him and instead rushes off saying the memorable words, “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say hello, goodbye, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!”

Recently my in-laws were visiting from out of state. Along with all of their luggage and gear, my father-in-law brought 7-8 boxes of old photo albums that needed to be sorted. His own mother had recently transitioned out of her home, and he was spearheading the slow removal of a lifetime of her possessions. His goal during their 6 day visit was to sort through and take out all of the pictures from every photo album. I watched him literally spend hours sitting in our lazy boy in the living room sorting through each album.

It’s the end of the month again-how did that happen so fast? You’ve been coordinating a mission trip for the last few weeks, meeting one-on-one with college students for discipleship, and helping run a youth program. A LOT has happened, and you are reflecting on all of the amazing things God has done. Then it hits you, it’s time to do a ministry newsletter. It’s going to take forever to cover all of this.

It’s a sunny afternoon in July, and I am sitting in my favorite spot of our house-our front porch. It’s nap time for my little girl and these few fleeting hours are when I get a chance to meet with the Lord, collect my thoughts, and get a little work in. As a backdrop to doing dishes, folding laundry, training for a half marathon and a myriad of other daily activities, I’ve been listening to Ruth Haley Barton’s Sacred Rhythms.

Over the course of the last year, I have been reflecting on Ephesians 3:20, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”